Wednesday, June 2, 2010

33/365

Goodbye Orlando, hello Tampa!

We said our goodbyes to Disney world today and began our drive to Tampa, Florida. We arrived at the rental car place only to be told we instead were getting a giant white suburban instead of the small suv we had asked for. (something about a free upgrade?) So we embraced the roominess of it and were on our way! Drex was given the job of driver not only because he is a better driver but also because he can actually understand the gps my parents let us borrow for the trip. Basically the car we got...is a boat. On the bright side it's all leather (though the leather is black which is more on the downside of things) and new smelling which is always good...right? It is clean looking though and i am a fan of white cars. We'll see how it does.

Thankfully today has been better than yesterday. Though the day itself was great yesterday (filled with rides and mini golf as Drex and I celebrated our 13 months) the night brought its own challenges as it usually does. I thought about my life. The way I've lived it, the things I've done, and the labels I've earned for myself. There are some I am proud of: daughter, friend, child, girlfriend, Christian. There are others I'm not. There are things I've participated in that I regret, memories that i wish were not made, things I've done that i never thought I'd do. I have held dear to certain things and let go of others. I have watched myself love, break, cry, laugh, and trust. I have let myself hope only to be disappointed, i have kept quiet so I would not cause turmoil, I have spoke in order to save. I am not perfect but I have never said to be. I am thankful for every situation that God has brought into my life. I am thankful for a family that has been able to lift me up even when they didn't know i was down. I am thankful for a boyfriend who has helped me through the worst of my trials and been by my side through all of it. I am thankful for a God who has protected me, shielded me, loved me, saved me, and brought me out of hell with little scars.

I am me because of every person that has come into my life, every situation that I have encountered, every tear I have cried and every laugh I have laughed. I never want to be sad because of things I have done, because they have made me who I am.

"I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do"
-Moments by Emerson Drive.

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