Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I know i'm cutting it short since it's 11:25pm here, but hey i made it :)

Today was an extremely emotional day for me. It was Drex's last day of high school...and just typing those simply words make me want to cry. I'm terrified. I'm scared of the future and the unknown. I'm scared of change.

Drex has been my best friend through everything. He has stood by my side when there were things going on that no one knew about. He was the one that held me and told me it would be okay. He's kept me sane this past school year. He's been that smile i so desperately needed to see first thing in the morning. I can't imagine doing this without him.

I'm scared of entering the "real" world. Our relationship is no longer in school, it is also graduating with him. I'm scared of him leaving, or of us growing apart. I'm scared of missing him. I'm terrified beyond words.

I've never been good at the whole change thing. But this time it's so much harder. This time it's me being left behind.

Drex and I have been through hell like no one else knows about. He was the very thing that got me through the day. He was my motivation for simple living life itself. He was the angel sent from God to show me how to live again.

I'm scared of losing him, and in doing so losing myself. I don't want things to change. I want everything to stay the same. I don't want to be left behind.

"I love you too much
It shows
All my emotions go
Out of control
Good for you bad for me
When I can hardly see
From the tears that flow

Can't forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten
With my eyes closed"

-Alesha Dixon "Breathe Slow"

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