Sure, my hair looks awful, Drex looks like an idiot, and Tyler looks a little like a crow, but in this picture we all shared something. We were all in love with the person standing next to us. I miss this picture for my own selfish reasons. Sure, we all fought, but at the end of the day we were happy. At the end of the day we weren't wondering if we would be happy again, or who would come into our lives next. We were content, we were in love, we were happy.
I miss this.
I miss this glow, this sanity, this joy. I miss the feeling of new love that no one could take away. I miss knowing that no one was going to do something utterly and completely stupid. That at the end of the day no one was going to do anything unsafe. Because we were all full of happy.
I miss this.
I miss the days in which I didn't have to go to work, worry about waking up on time, planning things around my work schedule. I miss the days when I didn't look forward to my days off, when I felt like I had time for my boyfriend, my friends, my family, and myself.
I am happy, don't get me wrong. But I no longer possess the happiness that is carefree and light. I miss that.
You know none of us chose to be out of love. Not. One.
ReplyDeleteSo maybe before you go posting about the past you should think about how shitty some of us still feel. Or about how maybe, someone else misses this too, but missing it isn't going to help because it's gone and there's no going back.
Maybe you should think about the fact that the reason you and I aren't friends anymore isn't because I lost Tyler. It's because you lost the drive to actually be a friend to me, and don't have time.
You haven't tried, so you have no right to miss anything.