Love, respect, and forgiveness. All three of these things seem standard, things we act out in our daily lives. But they're the things I've had to pray earnestly for the last 2 weeks.
When my friends were suspended, I was angry. I was lonely. I was hopeless. Going to every class alone, figuring out who to sit with at lunch, figuring out literally how to function. (Pathetic, I know). I was so mad at our administration. I felt like they were heartless, stupid, fake.
I suppose though, I had been feeling like that for awhile. Not just towards the administration, but towards Christians in general. Everywhere I looked there were people faking a religion. Putting on a "good" image at school and then acting totally different once out of sight. This situation only helped continue those feelings. I felt like that's what these people in charge were doing. Living totally different than they claimed to believe.
I was getting over this...calming down, ready for things to go back to normal.
And then they were expelled. All four of them. Gone. Suddenly I wasn't going to go to school with them. Suddenly there would be no dressing up for spirit days, buying semi formal dresses, going to homecoming. There would be no wearing our caps and gowns and feeling the nerves right before we walked into the gym ready to finish our high school career. I felt like the whole world was shattering. I just wanted to cry. To quit.
My mom pulled me into her room one night and talked to me. She talked to me telling me that I can't stop enjoying this year, that I have to pick myself up and trust that God has a plan for my friends and I. It's what I needed to hear.
So these last 2 weeks I've been praying for love. Love for those who have been in my class since I was in 7th grade. Love for those who I will be graduating with. Love for those who I have looked past all these years.
I've been praying for respect. To once again respect those who God put in authority over me. To realize I don't know anything about them. I don't know what their home lives are like. What their struggles are. I judge on the little I know; that they expelled my best friends. But a person goes so much deeper than an action. If one was to judge me based on a single action I've done, they wouldn't like me much either.
I've been praying for forgiveness. To forgive those for the things they've done. To forgive them and accept that none of us are perfect. We all make decisions that not everyone is happy with. It's a part of life. Not forgiving them hurts me more than it does them.
I'm going to miss my best friend. I know we'll still talk and see each other every once in awhile. But I also know it won't be as frequent. We will both get caught up in life and the business of it all. But she'll always be my best friend. No matter how many people come and go.