You are beautiful, unique, and special. You love with your whole heart and leave nothing behind. Don’t let a boy change that. Don’t let a boy make you think things about yourself that aren’t true. Don’t let a boy every make you think you are worth less than you are.
I have told you that you need to figure out who YOU are. Without friends, without family, without boys. You did. You found yourself when you left all you knew and stepped into a world that was different from what you were used to.
But then, you came back. You came back and fit yourself into the mold you had left. A mold that isn’t necessarily bad, but a mold that holds you so tightly that you feel everything all over again.
Remember when we were in Russia? You told me something.
That because you weren’t with Tyler you could do so much more. Adopt kids, go study abroad if you wanted to, not hurt every night because you couldn’t hangout with him.
I have a boyfriend. I wouldn’t trade him for the world. But I have to give up things, I cannot do anything I want whenever I want. You CAN. Don’t forget that.
There is a quote you used to love…
“Loving someone is giving them the power to destroy you,
And trusting them not to.”
You loved Tyler. You will ALWAYS love Tyler. But don’t regret Tyler. Be thankful for the moments you got to spend with him. Don’t try to replace those or make them less important than they are. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to cry. It is okay to feel broken and needy. You have to break to be fixed. But don’t forget to heal. Don’t forget to remember that those moments you guys shared together were special, but there will be other moments with other people. That not being with Tyler brings you one step closer to who you were intended for.
Don’t sit and think you’ll never be married or have kids. That you won’t find that “prince charming”. (You will.) Instead plan your life. LIVE your life. Cherish those memories and let them help you in your life.
He will always hold a special place in your heart. But let him. Don’t try to push him out because that’s impossible. Just accept that he will be there, and you will be in his. Rebuild your heart, and keep it open, because you never know when someone will stumble in.
You don’t have to cry alone.
I love you.